Miles-6 weeks old!

The bandage is from the skin tag removed on his ear.

Sleeping in the pre op room before his circumsicion.

the end of a smile.!

Ok, so I have totally lapsed on blogging. Matt just updated and inspired me:)

So, some general notes about birth to 6 weeks:

1. Breastfeeding was so.much.harder than I was prepped for! At our 3 day checkup, Miles had lost 12% of birthweight (more than the midwives would have liked), so we scheduled a checkup for two days later-more weight loss! Well that scared us into action. We met with a lactation consultant and started bottle feeding him additional breastmilk till he couldn't take anymore. I couldn't believe how scary it was to see him not gaining weight at first. He has, thankfully, made a good latch and I have finally learned to relax and we are getting the hang of it. I mean, I was so not ready for how hard that part was...

2. Sleep. everyone tells you to get it while you can, but like Mandy points out, no one can explain just how exhausting it is to have a newborn. I was waking up in complete delerium, not sure if Miles was in our bed, in his swing or crib. It was even worse when he wasn't in the same room as me-b/c I woke up startled instead of gradually as he made little noises...

3. Help. I don't even understand how anyone makes it through the first few weeks w/o help. My mom and sister pretty much lived here for two weeks and we had at least ten people brings us meals (sometimes more than once!). Matt handled some night feedings so I could get sleep and I still felt like a zombie despite all those aforementioned acts of kindness!

4. Crying and naps. Finally, my respite! I am learning to let Miles cry a bit when I know he's exhausted and just needs a nap. Before, I was unwilling to do so and so I carried him all day long and tried taking walks and wearing him in slings. They were good for then, but ulimately the boy just was not sleeping during the day for more than 20 min here and there. This made for a cranky boy and an exhausted mom.

So, Thursday I let him fuss for a while and almost instantly, he took a good long nap (and I did too!). I feel like we're making good progress. Starting a schedule and both getting good day time naps. what a relief.

5. I am not sure why blogging is easier for me in bullet points, but it is.

Being a mom is certainly so much harder and lonelier than I have ever imagined. But it is so worth it. I can't believe how much a I love Miles. I am reading Operating Instructions by Lamott. It is irritating and I can't stop reading it for some reason. I am just hooked on reading her infant son's progress.

Anyway, I cooked dinner for the first time last night and cooked again today. I can slowly feel my old life returning with an added bonus:)

a baby story...

Recap: We closed on our new home Friday at lunch time. Moved Saturday. Miles was born Monday Dec 14th at 8:20am.

Contractions started officially at 11pm Sunday night, but were increasing all day Sunday.
So, we were playing Yahtzee at 10ish and I was up after every turn, rolling my hips around and pretty uncomfortable. After Matt slaughtered me I said I better get to bed in case I had a baby the next day...So at 11pm we went to bed. I was up about every 10 min, moving my hips around, squatting, etc. Finally at 2am, sleep wasn't really happening due to the painful interruptions-so I called the midwives. Roswitha called back and said there wasn't much to do till the contractions were 5 min apart...drink a beer and get some rest she said.

So, I started trying to time them around 2:30. They were 4-5-8 min apart. So I figured I still had plenty of time till they got more consistent. Still, up every 5 min or so, rolling the pelvis, sitting on the toilet, moaning, walking around the house and reading up on early labor (maybe should have done that sooner?:) The beer made me feel nauseous.

At 6am I was a mess-moaning so loud Matt would wake with each one, stroke me and tell me to try and relax as best I could. HA. He was helpful though, because at least I was focused on him and not the pain, entirely. I COULD NOT relax at that point, probably because I had, unknowingly, reached transition, where relaxing during contractions is no use... I was pushing with each one.

My water broke at 7:15 am and Matt called the ABC again. I got the phone and told Roswitha I felt like I needed to push with each one. She said, GET IN THE CAR! So, we pull up to the ABC at 7:45am and 5 pushes later, Miles is out at 8:20am. Oh MY goodness. It was so fast. I didn't even have time to get in the tub like I wanted.

He weighed 8lbs 4oz and was 21 1/4 in long. He has hair everywhere and Paul Boudreau lips:)

I am still pretty tired and have yet to really process the miracle of labor. But I know two things 1. it was really hard 2. I did it!

We are IN love with Miles. He is so.so. cute, even when his face is red mid-scream. He is sleeping now and I probably should be too. But today is Christmas eve and who can sleep this day away?! We are so grateful!

39 weeks

How far along? 39weeks
Sleep: up at least 3x/night
Best moment this week: getting a great deal on Craigslist for our new living room furniture!
Movement: some *tiny* contractions added to the usual feet and body parts jabbing at my sides
Food cravings: milk to quell heartburn! peppermints...which ironically make heartburn worse!
What I miss: my old wardrobe. I am seriously down to only a few shirts that make it over my belly and they are almost ALL black. I am not in mourning, just HUGE! I almost looked at Target yesterday, but cannot seriously justify buying ANY more maternity clothes at this point:)
What I am looking forward to: MOVING! Lord willing, this weekend.
Weekly Wisdom: I am going to get huge-well you know, so the boy can come out! Thanks to some Ina May wisdom, I've been re-encouraged that my body really was made to do this labor thing and I'll be up for task when it's time.

Some other books that have been helpful so far:
The Pregnancy Book: Month-by-Month, Everything You Need to Know From America's Baby Experts

On Becoming Babywise: Giving Your Infant The Gift of Nighttime Sleep

Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation

this one encouraged me to walk daily; it's pretty much the solution to every prego ailment:
Prescription for Nutritional Healing, 4th Edition

Of course, they almost ALL come at child rearing and birth from DIFFERENT perspectives, making it a bit confusing to know what's the *right* thing to do, but at the same time, I like reading about the extreme perspectives and knowing that we'll settle into whichever form of parenting and birth that works for us, ultimately.

I realized yesterday that the ABC folks are definitely attachment parenting, natural child birthing, non circumcising, co sleeping hippies! haha. Obviously, we share many of the same values or we wouldn't be having our baby there, but still, we are not that extreme.

We had an appointment with Roswitha yesterday and saw another Hope Chapel couple leaving as we came! Hope people LOVE the ABC:) I weighed in the same as last week, mercifully, since Roswitha doesn't miss a thing when it comes to weight gain! But, she was encouraging that I am still within their 'normal' range. I mean, what God-fearing, holiday party going American doesn't gain 5lbs during Dec anyway? For crying out loud! I wish everyone had to 'weigh in' every week during the holidays!

Ok, there is sort of malfunction w/ the camera at the moment...pics to come shortly.

38 weeks

So, its 38 weeks. Here's the update:



Weight gain: 32#



Cravings: pumpkin bread.



Physically: TIRED! I think I slept through the night a couple of weeks ago, but it's a distant memory. I've read/heard that my body is preparing for the 2 hr feedings by waking every two hours to pee. Great...using the eye cream early...



Emotionally: excited=to meet Miles. very thankful=for the new house! scared=of what labor will REALLY be like.



Next Prenatal Appt: Wed at 3pm, depending on when we close, this may change.



We hope to start cleaning by Thurs/Fri and have a great move (as in moving our bed and baby stuff:) Sat and Sun. Things are about to start happening fast! But, I am consicously taking it slow and packing up things very slowly, getting naps and walks in daily and eating lots of greens and smoothies, playing yahtzee and watching West Wing to force myself to rest!



And now we wait....

37 weeks

work shower: As you can see, I was stunned at all the gifts they gave me!

Here is Adina; we've been talking about babies for 9 months now!

opening gifts:

One of the professors; he's very excited about those shirts:)

Ok, updates:

1. We met with Joan for our 37 wk appt. last week. She suggested lying on my right side may help Miles turn the correct way and prepare for descent!

She also told me some exercises I should do to help his position: pelvic rocks, free style swimming and laying on a yoga ball...

2. We will own a house soon!

3. have I mentioned that my folks living room is FULL of baby stuff...

So, I swam with my mom for 40 min on Saturday and otherwise, have taken the holiday off of exercising...Yesterday I hit the treadmill for a slow walk.

In the meantime, I'm packing, making sure I've got the basic 'essentials' washed and ready should he come early. I just need to pick up a stroller this week with the rest of Babies R Us gift cards and then I am pretty sure the rest of the baby goods can wait...or will be handed down eventually.

Here is a fun picture of my morning ritual: the green goblin. I recently admitted to wearing ear muffs in the early am hours when I am concocting this drink in the garage; my mom insisted I show this to the blog world:):

I am trying not to smile here:

Ok, we have our next ABC appt Wed...stay tuned!

36 wks

So, today I can have my baby at the Austin Area Birthing Center.

However, today I will most likely NOT have my baby there. I mean, I am only 36 wks.:)

Today I am having a baby shower at work. They are placing bets on my actual deliver date.

I have definitely felt "showered" the past weeks-with supplies and encouragement! It has been amazing! I mean, I went from having almost having nothing but a baby bathtub, bassinet and a few onesies, to having a crib, changing table, TONS of diapers (regular and cloth), clothes and all sorts of other things to help with little Miles.

On the pregnancy front, I feel huge and am having trouble climbing the stairs! I have gained 27.5 lbs so far. Miles' heart rate was in the 130s on Tuesday at our last appt and Roswitha said his head felt very low; which is good news! I'm still walking on the treadmill, but have also been having a harder time eating healthy. I mean, I have my routine where I get lots of fruits and veggies daily-but in the in between times, I finally understand why people just eat sweets-and lots-while pregnant! I think my appetite has increased since Miles has started putting on more weight and it's a force of will to not just eat junk when that hunger doesn't seem to go away:)

We also met with Nicole and talked about some expectations and fears during labor. Our homework was to think about the logistics of post partum and who will be doing what...etc. On that note, Matt is a really great husband. For example, he shot a buck that was smaller than he'd hoped for, just so we (mostly me) wouldn't feel stressed for the rest of hunting season about him needing 'the buck'. I know he is going to be a really great dad and a great coach/help to me.

In other news, we are buying a house! We hope to close Dec 15th (two days before the due date). It's crazy to think about moving into a house and having a new baby and realizing there is a chance it could happen at.the.same.time! But, it's all the best kind of change=family and provision for a house, two big blessings!

So, before all the pandemonium breaks loose, we just wait and get ready (as best we can) for all the stuff ahead. It's definitely a frustrating spot for me, but I am practicing patience and trying to think of things I can do now to be more prepared in 3 wks.

Pics from shower #1

Jessica, Catherine and ILynn, Mom and I

More pics to come; they are upstairs on my dad's computer and like I said, the stairs are just not that easy these days:)...

34 wks

Well, its definitely going downhill at this point! The weeks are passing faster and now it's only approx 6 weeks till Miles could come! Wow. I am realizing that labor is imminent. He's going to come out, no matter what!
A good quote

"There is no way out of the experience except through it"--Penelope Leach, Your Baby and Child

A couple of nights ago I was leaving the gym and recalling my Danskin Triathlon experience. It was really powerful, because I gained confidence (from band-nerd to semi-athlete?). Well, at least I felt like an athlete by completing the triathlon. I did things I NEVER thought I could do and I did them pretty well (well the swim and biking anyway:).

So, back to my revelation. The prospect of GIVING birth seems less intimidating after doing things that are scary/hard (triathlons and other life experiences) and succeeding. It's like each of these things that you conquer prepares you for the next one and the one after that. All the while knowing that Christ gives us grace and strengthens us for the task at hand. And that we CAN do all things through him who gives us strength!

Of course, after taking our Bradley class, reading books and hearing/watching labors and knowing that I must do it, all help a lot:)

So, all that to say, lately I've been feeling really optimistic about birth/labor etc. Mandy's words have stuck in my mind and Matt reiterates them daily "I can do this!"

I felt some *real* contractions last week and last night. They are subtle still, but uncomfortable for a moment.

So, it's been about two weeks of going to the gym everyday and walking briskly for 30 min. This week I added some tiny weights...my back has felt MUCH better and I can feel my muscles strengthening with the consistency.

Other than that, I've been on a craft, Christmas mission:

This is a banner I made for above the crib: (I am also wearing my first (and likely last) attempt at a baby sling. It was TOO small.)

Yesterday we met with Roswitha, Matt's favorite. He likes he cause she is German, matter of fact and for some reason he takes pleasure in the fact that I'm terrified of her hands digging into my abdomen to find out where the baby is located! She was pushing to find out how he was positioned and he started moving and kicking and she said "ok, well now he's just getting angry"-which in a German accent was very comical:)To make sure Miles was still head down, she pulled on the ultrasound machine! What a treat! He is head down and doing great.

My blood pressure is good at 116/72 and I gained 4 pounds since our last visit. At first she did her insecurity-inducing German-grimace when I said my weight, but then she looked at the last few visits and realized I hadn't gained any last time, so in theory I was making up for the last 4 weeks w/ the four pounds. Ahh, it's so intense to have to 'weigh in' and stare at the scale is disbelief! stressful!

Rowitha and Matt:

The ABC:

34wks!:

Matt's about to explode cause deer season opens Saturday. Him and his skull?:

Next week, we'll meet with our doula, Nicole, and talk more about labor! She's coming to our house to get the lay of the land in the event that I labor there for awhile. We are really grateful to have someone we know to help keep us both focused.

And the house search continues. We've found one that *might* be the one, but we're taking a 2nd look on Mon. Though this is not the ideal time to move, we're trusting God that he's gonna make a way...and it will all work out:)

Tomorrow my mother in law and her close friend Esther fly into Austin for the family baby shower! It will be so fun to catch up with them and celebrate Miles:) Every time I get clothes or supplies for him, it just makes it so much more real that he's a little person and he'll be here soon! It is so fun.